Have you seen the dog?

Its that time again, the time of the year that very few experience. The only other people who come to mind might be Mrs. & Mr. Claus the night before Christmas Day or explorers the night before their big trip.

The explorers have planned, trained and prepared for their expedition. Their stocks checked and tested to ensure they are fit for purpose. The route planned, food and essential clothing packed. Counting down to the time that the vehicles move off.

The Claus family up to their knees in parcels and gifts planning since last December 26th to repeat it all again. So many things lying around, taking up all available flat and not so flat surfaces. All geared up to spread fun and joy to the children who have been "good".

Here the house looks like it has been hit by a flash Diwali mob who happened to have transported the house to the dye houses of the Moroccan leather industry in Fes. Colour and vats of dye abound. Small life forms having vacated ages ago just in case they fall into a dye pot. Have you seen a deep red coloured spider?

The dogs are in a state of heightened awareness, careful of where they sleep just in case they are scooped up along with numerous skeins of wool and deposited in a box marked for transportation to the "Big Event".

Unlike Mrs Claus there have been no full time elf's to assist in the preparation a couple of part timers came in for a short but gratefully received shift but its largely been the one who has grafted away. She has worked hard, dye oozing through her pores it seems at times as she gets her wares ready for the fest.

The yarn has been hung here, there and everywhere as it dries. The colour's intensifying as it does so as if it's Spaghetti made by Willy Wonka.

As I said it does take over the house, this was the view of the breakfast table this morning, barely enough space for the cereal bowl, mug and phone from which the morning paper was being read. Just as well really as there was no room for the real thing.

So all going tomorrow, annual leave booked I will be heading off for my 4th stint as second in command of the Yarn Yard expeditionary force. If you are in Cockermouth be sure to pop by and say hello.


-- Post From My iPhone

Cool!

So there we where in the Apple store looking at the shiny toys. Like so many of the other "children" in the sweetie shops so many sweeties to choose from and all so tempting. The real white goods experience Apple stores are now, all shiny, clean lines and encouraging you to touch, play and poke at the screens.

Standing there playing with the recent toy it's not long before a helpful young person comes along seemingly having traveled from California to get here at your side as they greet you with a friendly, sun smacked, cheery, classless and off course cool welcome. I'm sure the stores have aerosol dispensers that spread coolness over the heads of the browsers, you visit to be associated with cool, even for just a moment. Or indeed to check up on your emails or other sundry browsing on the accessible portals.

"Hi"
The surf board it seems is in the cupboard for the duration of their shift in Appledom.
"Can I help?"

Then you are off as you start to justify why you might possibly need the Apple embossed plastic box now being lovingly caressed, (in a passable impression of Tolkein's Gollum), as you respond to the open questions now being put to you. These questions are just open doors that encourage you to share more on why you want to be an Appletini.

They gentle probe on the what, where, how of your schemes. You might tap in your online address as you proudly show your blog/photos/web site/shop etc.

"That's cool"

you hear as the Apple surfer dude(ess) - no sexual bias here- persona oozes positivity over you. Perhaps they have mini dispensers of the same vapour that wafts over the stores. All to put you at ease regardless of your Apple knowledge or lack of it.

The body language is pretty good too all nods, smiles and sometimes even a comforting touch to the arm, just to let you feel that you too are not far away from wearing the metaphorical board shorts and vest of the Apple crew, even if this wardrobe is highly unlikely in the bleak Scottish winter. It's that good, the feeling, the message. Praise the Prophet Jobs!

So by now you've convinced yourself that the product is essential to your life. Even the Apple dude says so! Not directly of course, the products sell themselves is I am sure part of the company speak.

How big should the memory be then is the next challenge? Even though your emotionally detached self on analysing that the amount of music, movies and downloaded TV is pretty non existent you know that once this desirable piece is in your bag that will all change.

You need lots of Gigs you think. I'm almost there you think the language is in my head, cool! your inside self says. I need lots of memory I need the biggest because I need it and I will obviously use it. You try and justify buying the humongous memory model, despite the fact that you know that a few pod casts of the Archers take up hardly any room.

The books you say I need plenty of space for books. The shelves at home are so limiting pah! you say to the 2 to 3 hundred books. With this new instrument I can have hundreds of thousands. I do like books you hear yourself say.

This instinct was put there in order for our hairy ancestors to store more when you have it, to compensate when you don't. Risk death by killing the big creature, even though the more manageable smaller one would feed the family for a week. NO! bigger is better you tell yourself as your ancestor turns in his burial trench.

By now the body language, encouraging noises and words have taken you along the path towards the Apple commune. Faster than the new processor trumpeted in the literature your brain has calculated the sums, justified the rationale for the choice and apportioned the finance all whilst you talk.

'Ill have the thing now please" you say the very embodiment of the very smiley emoticon.
"We are out of stock" the Apple dude tells you in a very uncool way, rejection is a hard thing to take, bad enough from a lover but heart stopping from Apple.

Words such as waiting list are heard as the dude pokes and studies the results from the terminal that had hung from his waist. I can't decide if they look like an updated bus conductor or a techno gun slinger in the style of a futuristic. Hollywood Western.

Crestfallen you grudgingly have your name added to the list. Then you spring into another mode as you surf the web thanks to the Apple free wifi looking for third party sellers who may have stocks. Success and like a present day Batman & Robin you hurry to the Bat, OK Fegrig mobile. The next 90 minutes involves a drive over central Scotland seeking the elusive object of your desires. Along the way helpful staff point you in the right direction calling ahead to check if the next branch has the Holy Grail.

Finally the alter is approached and the set aside object of your technological desire is in your hands.
As you walk out of the store with your new possession, you feel the smile, nay grin spreading across your face like some maniacal emoticon and all you can utter is

"Cool!"

Spring cleaning

Lazyitis has set in here at Castle Fegrig, today has been a sunny albeit breezy day and I have decided to exercise the "glutes". I have performed a rigorous regime of sitting down, increasing the load by having my legs up on the sofa. I'm not quiet sprawled out in the style of some feline as that would make lap top use difficult but I'm working it.

Now, not one to do totally nothing I have been involved in a bout of e-spring cleaning. The size of my in box on the computer was starting to bulge the screen, so large had the cache become. I suppose not unlike the way that hiding unwanted mail under the Persian rug might have looked in times gone by. So a cleaning we went.

I have not done this for a while and although the emails had been scanned or indeed read as they arrived they had not been moved into the trash folder. Several hundreds later and time to reflect.

Like meeting old friends there were emails that had been saved in order for me to revisit now and again and they are good enough to share with your good selves.

I'm a big believer in collectivism, working together for a common goal and this old you tube clip from India certainly highlights this. Its based on a Mohandas Gandhi piece of wisdom. I have no idea what they are singing about but the visuals are not bound by language anyway.

"Be the change you want to be in the world"



As I trawled further I came across this link that puts tears in your eyes for another reason.



I had better be careful, if I continue with my cardiomusculoanaerobic sofa glute work out I may well need to enrol in such a class!

Have to go Scotland vs Argentina international rugby match soon to start on the telly.
Cheerio!

The evening constitutional

Hello again
I'm very lucky I'm sitting here in the corner of a field that just had a rather severe cut, a number 1 perhaps?

Its my own version of the BBCs "Spring Watch". The song birds are chatttering away hidden in the hedgerows. The occasional swift gliding over the fields harvesting the last insects before settling down for the night. A lone bird of prey hovers on the horizon, perhaps hoping for supper.

An ideal setting, the sounds of rural Scotland? Well it would be apart from them




Looking here like a couple of siblings who are trying not to look, speak or indeed anything with each other. They pant, slurp the ditch water and attempt to catch flies. Whilst all very natural it sort of detracts. A sort of canine white noise.

They have now settled down and like me are perhaps appreciating the view? Or is it that they remain ever hopeful of a plague of lazy rabbits all with one leg shorter than the other? It's the only way they would catch any.



So that's the walk, where did you go this evening?



-- Post From My iPhone