08/04/2011
Evening,
Here I am in the granite city, the home according to the song of the northern lights, in all it's grey, glittery splendour and seagulls (there always seems to be a lot flying around).
Aberdeen!
Tomorrow the business head comes on but tonight to save my normal head from seizing up it needs stimulation so taking advantage of my Cineworld movie card I trooped of to the picture house to see
"Unknown" the latest Liam Neeson vehicle that has him lumbering around Berlin like some captive Irish Polar Bear.
Now let's cut straight to the chase with a side shimmy to say that I like Liam Neeson but the truth is, to use the Scottish vernacular it was mince!
You watch and instinctively you know what missing the continuity person. Where also was the person in pre-production that should NO! thats bit of story is mince.
So let get this out of my head, let's have a brain splurge, all my Unknown thoughts down on the electronic paper. Here goes.
January Jones (3rd on the credits, lead? lady) can't act. In the TV series "Mad Men" she smokes and pouts that is her range, she's mince.
The story is a pretty predictable after a point and has more holes in it than my dear Grandad's string vest.
According to the movie the Berlin police and fire service are ineffectual, they're mince.
Liam Neeson although fairly well preserved is according to the passport in the movie younger than me. Now I'm not Dorien Grey but I thought that kind of casting died out with John Wayne?
According to the movie Berlin nurses are also mince and whilst we are at it don't get on a tram there as the driver cannot recognise a dangerous situation. So we can surmise that Berlin public servants are mince.
Berlin car park barriers are also mince, surprised at this when one considers the engineering might that Germany is.
Oh and their vans explode!
Killers who kill without thought save the heroine from death and just hold her.
The same character needs 4000 Euro for "papers" but with a back story like she has asylum would be a better option.
Oh and Berlin seems to be a society that supports free art and public transport?
You can seemingly be hit by a huge slab of concrete and just have a cut.
As I said I like Liam Neeson he's done some good stuff but he now seems to be Hollywoods favourite Celt having taken over from Sean Connery. Can you do accents Liam? Yes I can do Irish, American Irish, Irish Irish - that's north and south and American Irish Irish.
I can just imagine the guy pitching the idea for Unknown to the money men at the studio.
"I got an idea for the big Irish guy"
"Who, Terry Wogan?"
"No Neeson"
"Right"
"We get him crashing and stomping around a European city, exploding and destroying, not paying train fares"
"Oh! He's bad then, what about the cops?"
It's Europe, Berlin all the cops, nurses, public servants are mince! We can do anything because Europe's poor and they need our money"
"Damn Socialists, let's kick some Socialist butt"
"Yeah and if this goes to plan we get the next movie in the Liam Neeson rampages through Europe movie tour into production"
"Paris"
"No done that"
"What about Dublin, they're really poor, we can do anything!"
"Damn Socialists"
"Can Neeson do Oirish?"
So there you go, after seeing it it's unknown to me why it's still on the movie play list after such a long time?
"Unknown"
Sorry Liam it's a 4/10
Sent from my iPad